Mastery

So my wife is playing with this new ipod shuffle thing that arrived at the house. She cracks me up! Says it looks just like a home pregnancy test! Damn that slays me... it does. Even has a plus and minus! How did I get it? Long, unimportant story and its free. I don't want it. She was happy to take it and play. So as she loads the software onto our computer to operate it, its asking her survey questions about her occupation. She stays home with the kids. A busy job. Lots of duties and titles. No pay... well no money... unless we sell one of the kids (note to self.... I have 3). Anyway, she was checking off job titles. Finance, Administration, Computers, Web Master. That one caught my attention. Master?

Is that a little presumptuous? Web Master? I mean it was born in a time when the pocket protector ruled the world... no one could understand what those guys were saying, but they not only weren't burned by the strange new magic, they could *gasp* USE IT! I remember this time well because I worked in finding techies for companies. The Internet was totally off the radar, except for a few guys playing D&D with their Commodore 64s. No one was around to name them, except themselves. And their decision? Master. A hearty 'screw you' to all the guys that gave them swirlies and wedgies. They are masters of their domain... compared to everyone else.

So what other jobs assert this level of bravado in their title? Zen Master, Jedi Master (kinda similar), Reiki Master (again, similar). Then some, a little less profound:

• Bass Master, Master Angler (is that fish or chix? Or Fish n' Chix... Long John Silver was a Playa. You have to know it)
• Drunken Master ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080179/ ) fighting AND drinking... a pair? Who'da thunk?
• Jam Master... well there was only one. And his name was Jay. ( http://www.j-m-j.com/ ) And he liked his Addidas.

But seriously, rolling through GOOGLE, aside from master chefs, and gardeners... there's very little over mastery out there. This is what makes me wonder... what if we had to proclaim some kind of mastery in our work? Titles that might describe me?

• Sloth Master: while I've not met any, I know how to set my motor to idle, but really I am not comfortable with master. I am more of a wondering fool. More willing to be monkish, than master.

I don't know. When I was a kid I told my 3rd grade teacher I wanted to explain big ideas with little words for people so they'd be easier to deal with. I didn't know what job that was. She didn't either. But interestingly there's a word for this, and I'm really good at it. Its really the closest thing to what I do. I take big idea and reduce them to bites. I am a master of this:

bate¹ ( P ) Pronunciation Key (bt)
tr.v. bat·ed, bat·ing, bates

1. To lessen the force or intensity of; moderate:

Draw your own conclusions...