Zen & The Art Of MultiTasking

Its really quiet all of a sudden in my home. I look up and see that I am actually alone, the spring sunshine has faded to grey and the only thing I hear is the laptop fan out of phase with the hum of the refrigerator somewhere at the other end of the house. These are really rare moments in the life of a family guy. I love the family. But they come with 80 decibels of action and they're in bed, teeth scrubbed, blankets tucked, and I had no part of it. Where did this weekend go?

I see this two day period coming and start thinking about all the really 'important' things I need to do. Then a good part of the weekend I run around checking things off my list and trying not to make my wife break out in hives. She's lovely. A fabulous spirit... and to her, 'agenda' is the most heinus word in the English language. Cracks me up. I know she's right, but I am too stupid to not steam clean something or clean something or... they probably make a medicine for this. I am trying to do 3 things at the same time. Sometimes I do. I've been known to brush my teeth and hair at the same time, but when you get the brushes mixed up all hell breaks loose.

So getting to my point... I tend to digress a lot... and have a compulsive need to use these... points of ellipsis... That is not my point. This is: I've been trained in a culture of workers to do more. Productivity productivity productivity. More output with less input. I bought this notion for a long time, I am sorry to admit. It never occurred to me that the computer was a reason to slow down, not speed up. I can't compete with 128 bit processing. I am so easily distracted with 3 ideas at the same time. It wins. It can do the complicated grunt work and I'll do the... what is it that I'll do? Something a computer can't do.

I'll listen. Funny thing about that whole listening bit. It takes time and attention. You get a lot of information out of it and a computer can't really sort out what's important. Just people... or the ones who are listening at least. And it occurs to me that its a momentous thing... to take a moment and listen. Pay attention. Not type and listen. Not flip channels and listen. Not read and listen. Just listen. To do two things is to not fully appreciate either. Waste one moment in two half-quality attempts. But I've been doing that. I've done that. I do this. I did that.

I've been raised to try to do 2 things at the same time because its better. More stuff got done. If you could do twice that, it would be 4 times better. Like a machine. But I am more than the sum total of my honey do lists. My value is not in doing? So maybe I do dishes and listen to the radio, but I think I've wandered way off the trail somewhere. The zen moment... understanding the infinite detail of this one moment, and then this one... it is a delicate thing. Easily crushed by carpet cleaning, conversation holding, furniture dusting, blog thinking people. Sometimes I wonder if I keep moronically busy like this to avoid silence. But this feels so soothing... except for the refrigerator fan, which makes me wonder why its running all the time and if the seal needs to be replaced on the door and.... sometimes silences bring up awkward introspection. Hard to see that I could be more by doing less and that by doing more I am lessened. And am now more; seeing I am less.