I Am Not Rosa Parks... But Don't Tell Me Where To Sit

I got a form to volunteer at my son's school and was so excited to participate. Guest reader. It's so fun. Snacks… juice… Green Eggs And Ham… what could be more fun than circle time? With gusto I snatched up the form and filled it out. The basics. It seems that every form asks the same thing, but no sooner than I considered this thought, I came to a line I've not seen before: race. Race? Are you kidding me? I need to tell you my race to read? Ridiculous. So considering it insignificant, I put 'N/A' in the box, and continued on with name, driver's license number, address, etc. The form left for school the following morning and I didn't give it a second thought.

Until it returned. With a note.

"Please COMPLETE, tx"

Circled in red and twice underlined, I could see N/A was not going to be sufficient. Man… I really don't want to deal with this. I want to read to my son and be a hero for handing out goldfish crackers and reading in funny voices. So I fumed. I talked to my wife. I talked to my mother. Mom suggested sending the form back with 'Human' instead. I liked that, but feared it would just prolong this inevitable trouble that was coming.

Ok… quick intermission. Bathroom breaks. Sodas. Smoke'em if you got'em. While you are taking a moment to relax, consider this funny quote I saw somewhere:

"There are two kinds of people: the kind that think there are two kinds of people and everyone else."

That cracks me up. I am not sure what it is exactly… maybe it's the idea of we're infinitely similar. Capable of the same thoughts, both good and bad, words, and deeds. Only our actions distinguish us. Our choices.

So… I know these people at the school. They're good people. They care about the job they do. Individuals and as a group, they care. So, I may not always agree with their choices, but I am always sure they are acting in what they consider the best interest of the kids. I didn't want to offend anyone, yet I AM offended. My race? None of your business. So I sent a letter, and copied the principal, cringing all the while as I feared the firestorm I would bring on a good person.

The letter goes as follows:

[DATE]

[Name of Recipient], Security [Censored Name] School [Address] [State, ZIP]

Dear [Recipient]

One month ago I submitted a Volunteer Consent Form to Crestwood Elementary in order to have the opportunity to read to my son in his first grade class. The very fact that you have a screening process in place is of comfort to me as a parent. I of course commenced to filling out the form in every detail… except one.

Your form asks me to disclose my race. I declined, rather opting to fill the appropriate space as N/A. As a result, I at this very moment looking at the form I filled out one month ago. Your note states to "complete + return […] Thanks" and a red circle and two red lines draw attention to the form in the area of race.

I wish to be clear: I am interested in participating in volunteer activities at the school. I have provided my State of [omitted] Driver's License number for the purpose of verifying my sterling background. I do not see this as the appropriate venue to discuss the profiling of parent-volunteers in your school. If I am not guilty of any offense described in:

· Section 1539(a)(1) and (b)(2) of the [state] School Code

· Section 7410 of Public Health Code

· Act 368 of the Public Acts of 1978 (being Sections 333.7410 and 333.7416 of the [State} Compiled Laws)

then according to the rules of your process, I fit the criteria necessary to read Green Eggs And Ham. Race is not listed as disqualifying criteria from participation. Should that be the case, I do not find offense, and intend none, in refusing to disclose this information. You will see, with the exception of a speeding ticket a few years ago, there are no offenses of any kind.

It may be of some reasonable discussion for another time to examine the very purpose of including a line indicating 'race'. I do not see this as an appropriate forum, and my qualifications do not recommend my service to this cause, however I trust you will do all diligence in assessing the matter. My wish is merely to read to my son in his class, not debate the definitions of regarding inhabitants of the Caucus Mountains.

With all due respect,

[My Name}

cc: [Principal]

In conversations with the school, both in the superintendent's office and the principal at my son's school, they were surprised such a requirement was on the form. They apologized for the inconvenience and said it was not the intent. They wanted only to make sure they were not permitting pedophiles and predators to be with the kids. I respected that, and feeling like I changed the world a tiny bit, I basked in my little accomplishment.

Until the voicemail message came.

The school's security office was insistent that I had to fill out the form. Not optional. It is my choice to volunteer. Its fine if I don't. Fill it out, or don't fill it out. Its up to me. They are following the rules as set forth by the state. They have not choice. Take it up with them. So I did. This weekend, I sent this to the office of the State Police, division of criminal background verification:

[Department],

Can you help me understand the requirement for fields on the criminal background check? I am a parent of a first grader and in order to volunteer at the school to read to my child at school I've been asked to fill out a criminal background check form. I was more than happy to comply. I filled out the form in every detail, until it asked me for my race. I frankly am not interested in offering the information. It's not a requirement for my ability to read, or volunteer in any capacity. Considering the composition of our school, I'd rather not share. Yet, they tell me that I must. In fact, if I do not comply with this disclosure, I am not allowed to be a volunteer, even if I do not have a criminal history. I do not have a criminal history.

So... here's my question for you: why must you have my race if I can provide you my [State] driver's license or SSN? Granted, I understand that some people have common names, but how many people have my SSN or DL? No one. They are unique. Key data. Not race. Race? I get that it might matter if you've got an APB out for someone and are trying to visually differentiate between potential suspects, but this is nothing at all like that. I cannot see the logic in this. Can you explain why this is permitted?

The implications of this field being a *required* field are:

• Schools must ask volunteers their race before agreeing to let them participate.
• Churches must discriminate based on race in order to have volunteers in their nurseries.
• Employers must ask for the race of their applicants before hiring them if a criminal background check is required.

If we are supposed to be moving to a place in our society where race is not an issue, this certainly doesn't help take the issue out of the conversation. These groups are required to get this or they must tell people, as I have been told, that I am not allowed to participate. Does the organization look as if race matters to them? Yes. Does it look like the State cares what your race is? Yes.

I understand that our government is a reflection of the involved people in our society; a reflection of their votes of confidence. And since I don't care what my race is, and most I know don't care, why is this being brought up? Again, I know when visual search is required, skin tone might matter, however, not when unique data sources are available. I am asking you for clarification because this seems so logical to me, I must be missing something. You, being involved on a day to day basis in this operation, perhaps can explain this to me.

I eagerly await your response,

With all respect,

[me]

UGH!!! Am I crazy? I am the only person who seems to notice this? Thinks its odd? Sure I could go off and... well I would if I had the energy... on this race baloney. Ok. Maybe just a shortlist:

• 'White' is a color... not a race. Ditto for 'black'.
• If white and black are 'races' then why not 'brown'? Most are...
• Seriously... who lives on the Caucus Mountains?
• Are the inhabitants of the island of Lesbos ALL Lesbians? (ok... so that's digressing a bit... not really so much about race as label)
• If you're 'hispanic' AND 'black', then what do you do?
• If you're 'black' and don't look 'black', are you 'black'? How do you determine? Is there an empirical test? Luminocity? SPF? Melanin count?

I am so tired of this labeling. I feel like I am always caught up in it. My eyes... they're not really brown. Sort of green. But brown. I had to pick an eye color while filling out the driver's license at the secretary of state. I wrote in 'Khaki'. Seemed a reasonable compromise. Apparently, they're more interested in compliance than accuracy. I had to pick green or brown. I went with brown. You at least know the real truth.

So I wait to find out what my state tells me about their requirement to know my race in before I can read Green Eggs and Ham to my son in his school. I am not trying to make an issue of this. I just want to participate... without the profiling. So when the reply comes, asking me again if I'll just make it easier for everyone and just fill out the form like everyone else, my reply will be:

Not in a plane,

Not on a trane,

Not in a box

Not with a fox...